"Without love we are hollow centers of selfishness, with love we are unstoppable forces of self-liberation. Communication, trust, and chemistry are at the foundation of love. The beginning of love is born in our eyes and grows in our actions. Then in a moment, a line or a look can change every dimension of our relationship, and begin an endless journey toward unity."



I want to make you the center of my world, the wholeness, the beauty, the lifeblood, the source for inspiration and truth. The one that I cherish and embrace for as long as my heart will beat. I want to heal you, protect and free you until life becomes a playground for your soul. I want to be your escape, your catalyst and your song. I want dance with you- I want to be your dance. There is no one in this world more precious to me than you. I adore you in the same way that a night sky adores the stars that glisten and give it beauty. When you smile and tell me that you love me, I begin to believe that I have no other purpose in this life but continue to make you feel and say the same. I care so much about you at times I feel that my heart is going beat so intensely that it rips through my chest and soars into your hands- where It belongs. I have lived so long in the name of personal achievement, accomplishment, and ambition. Then in one instance, when my eyes first caught yours, I feel like the only accomplishment that will ever matter to me is your happiness, our happiness.


You are becoming what I have always envisioned as ideal in my life. Watching you come into your own- like placing lost flowers into a vase of eternal solidarity- has been, and will continue to be the meaning of my Life’s pursuit. You stand unwavering, with knees no longer weakened by the insidious intentions of others, those who only wish to take, knowing that even the most plentiful streams run dry and need replenishment. You mirror my smiles and reflect into me inner truth. You are my unconditional everything, and my reasons for ambition and tranquility.


Proud I am, of your courage, your will and your endless capacity to love. You are my emotional and devotional absolute. Proud I am, of how you don’t stop- you don’t ever let up. In the chaotic perfection of life I have found solace in your arms and sanctity in your eyes.


I bear my soul to you- without hesitation and complete myself by fusing my world and my dreams with yours. You pick fruit from the orchards of my thoughts and plant new seeds of passion and hope in the lush fields of my heart. You give yourself selflessly because you can, and you know that I will be here to embrace and appreciate all that you are. I am proud, I am willing and I will always love you.

Sometimes I think that I would give up my artistic talent just to be some sort of muscician. Of course, sometimes I think that opposite of that, but to be able to play some sort of beautiful music creating instrument would be very fulfilling. I am rather tired. I have a feeling that I am going to burn my house down because last night I left a candle burning throughout the black hours. I think that it was because I had every intention of getting up and going downstairs to get food...that never happened. Anyhow, I can't really think of anything to write, and lunch is in about 3 minutes. Mmmm...food.

{I didn't write this...it's a song}

The sun shines
And leaves blow
And my hope
Like autumn
Is turning brown
And I know it seems like I’m always falling down
But it does not matter to me
Although, it seems like it should
It’s because I know I’m understood
When I hear him say
“Rest in me
Little David
And dry all your tears
You can lay down your armor
And have no fear
Because I’m always here
When you’re tired of running
I’m all the strength that you need

It’s uphill
Both ways
Tomorrow
I swear
I won’t act this way
And I know it seems like that is what I always say
But it does not matter to me
Although, it seems like it should
It’s because I know I’m understood
When I hear him say
“Rest in me
Little David
And dry all your tears
You can lay down your armor
And have no fear
Because I’m always here
When you’re tired of running
I’m all the strength that you need

…It seems so very far away…

Emotional Novocain


Like every other day she plods in late,
And meanders to her locker whipping sleep
Out of here noticeably tired eyes.
She ambles down the desolate hallway of the school,
And thinks of all the things that she forgot
To do the night before. She thinks of how sad

She has been the past few weeks and how sad
She doesn¡¯t need to be. It isn¡¯t even school
That makes her so sad; it¡¯s herself, lack of sleep,
The fact that she¡¯s always late, she forgets
All the time, and she is always, always late.
She wipes the faint tears from her green eyes.

The glow that once filled these eyes
Has gone. She¡¯s five minutes late
For 1st period, and she already wants to sleep
Again. It¡¯s safe to say that she has forgotten
What sleep felt like, and that makes her sad.
Nights consist of what should have done at school,

But wasn¡¯t. She loves school,
And she never ever forgets
All the things that she should do, instead of sleep.
Her depression is what keeps tears in her eyes
It¡¯s keeps her utterly hopeless and sad
It¡¯s what keeps her up late

Into the night, until it¡¯s too late
To do anything productive except sleep
And it makes her so very sad
To even think about school
And she looks into her own eyes,
And remembers to forget

Everything. She remembers to forget
Everything that even involves school.
She remembers to forget that it¡¯s late.
She forgets that she¡¯s sad.
Closes her eyes,
And falls asleep.

This is the escape of sleep.

This is the poem that I wrote for creative writing. This is why I have to see a councilor.

Wave goodbye to the laughter.
Wave goodbye to the sea.
Beckon near grievous comfort.
Beckon near these tears of me.

Wave goodbye to the sunshine.
Wave goodbye to my joy.
Dark clouds fill my skies.
Now rain drops I employ.

My eyes burn ever so badly. I just sit here with them closed, and probably look crazy. Last night I woke up at about 2:50 a.m., and remembered that before I fell asleep, I was really hungry, so I decided to go down stairs. I knew exactly what I wanted. We had made subs and brownies for lunch, and they were to be mine. So, I went down stairs and ate a sub and a brownie and some Coke, (blah) then I noticed that we had Capn' Crunch, so...
Anyhow, talk about gluttony. I ate so much food...but I paid the price...oh yes...I paid the price. I decided that Capn' Crunch is a dooms-day device. Yes...yes, that may sound crazy, BUT WHEN YOU WAKE UP WITH CUTS ALL OVER YOUR MOUTH, YOU'LL THINK THE SAME THING!!! BELIEVE ME!!! So yes...dooms-day device. I rest my case...although my mouth still really hurts.

So it has been decided then; I will own a kitty or two. I am excited. The notion of living on my own is such a soothing concept. I decide. But I also decided that it is an unrealistic one as well. I don't have money to support myself! That's quite disheartening. Maybe my cousin will let me move in with her. I can only pray, because she is one of the coolest people that I have ever come in contact with. She isn't like George or Carrie at all, except she is super funny. I love her, and I am glad that she isn't moving to CA with my Aunt Cindy. I feel really sick. For some reason this morning I needed some sort of caffeinated beverage, and seeing as we still had pop from the night before, I took advantage of that. Now I feel ill, because the pop was flat. (I reiterate: blah) I have to pee like a fiend. Whatever that means. I have ever so much to do. Lauren and I are doing well today.

I swear I am bipolar. Like I said, one minute I am as happy as a lark, and when something goes terribly wrong, I flip out and can't function as a normal human being. It will eventually drive me to insanity...that is...if it hasn't already... I am sure that once I move out of my house I will be okay. I am confident that me moving out of my house will be the solution for everything. Mmmm...solutions. So, who wants to live with me? I am ever so tired. Anyhow, stuff. My lips are chapped. But AH HA! I have Carmex. It tastes so so so bad. I am pretty sure that I didn't do so well on my math exam today. Ah, well, such is life. That's not a Megan phrase, but it applies so I will use it anyway.

Today I woke up at 7 a.m., and didn't know what time it was because my clock is off. The funny thing was that I didn't care at all. I just lay there. Wishing that it were Saturday again.