the tool concert on wednesday was awsome, per usual. The sound of course sucked, all thanks to the sports arena, or as Tony put it, I think he said the Sports Toilet. Anyway it was funny. That's all.

I must be really lazy. Tomorrow I have all of three things to do, and I am dreading the upcoming twenty-four hours like no other. I have to take my ACT, which will take about four dreadul hours. I'm not a really good test taker. I just don't function well. Especially at eight on the morning. Then, in order to make a little money, which is appearently important for survival these days, I am going to fand out coffee at a gun show...for a store that I don't even work for. The concept of dainty coffee and pastries at a gun show makes me raise an amused eyebrow. But hey, it's money. That's all that counts. Unless it doesn't coutn and I make ten bucks for five hours of labor. So, ACT from 8-12, confusing odd job from 13-5, and then baby-sitting starts at 9:30. In the span of time between 5 and 9 I told a friend that I would hang out with her. I feel kind of bad because sometimes hanging out with friends is like a chore to me and I don't feel like I'm giving them a good deal. But what can you do? I'll have a nice time, but sort of want to be sleeping for the entire experience. Sorry. Well, I have to go to bed, and get up at 6. I pray to the god's of the ACT that they let me get something above a twenty; a twenty-six might be nice. But my tendency is to do poorly so I expect an eighteen. Then when we all (several friends are taking the test at the same time) get out test back and everyone is so fucking excited about their twenty-nine's and thirty-one's I will cry because I got a shitty number, and manage to base my living worth on that number. Then my boyfriend will ask what I got compaired to his twenty-nine, and I won't want to tell him because he'll be saying, "You're smart, it can't be that bad. What's your score???" So, I'll tell him, and then comes that look on his face that says to me that I really did do bad, and he kind of feels stupid for thinking that I was smart, when I'm really not, but he's in denial about that issue. That look that says, "Oh, um, I guess you really did do bad. Silly me for telling you that 'it can't be that bad'. I guess I just shouldn't have asked." But ehen comes those partronizing words like, "Oh, that's not bad..." Or the excuses for stupidity, "You're just not a good test taker..." Oh how I just cannot wait for tomorrow! Oh JOY! Oh Rapture! Oh stab myself in the face for ever not paying attention in high school. Fuckin a...

I just wrote a song today. It's not important.

Today we recieved our soccer team shirts. On the back of them were the names of all of the team members. But wait, there was one name missing...and it-it was...my name. I know it was an honest mistake, and I'm sure that the other members won't care, but the fact of the matter is that I work hard, very hard for the team. I just feel a little left out, because they sure aren't going to do a thing about it.

I have hundreds of pages to read in several books. I should probably be doing that right now.

This whole "blog" thing is the most efficient was to be extremely introspective. I'll bet that thousands of kids make themselves feel different about themselves via this site. I know I do. I certainly do. But at least I also get the opportunity to write down my songs, like "I wish I were a kitty", for example. That one's going to the number one slot, you just wait. Anyway...